When I hit 40, things started to change quite quickly for me.
My youth felt like a distant memory, and for the first time, I truly felt like a proper adult. Not just a young adult, but a fully-fledged grown-up. In charge of everything, and, let’s face it, starting to feel my age. Here's what I've learned on my journey to 40.
I really need to figure out how to grow old gracefully. It’s something I’ve been meaning to write about, but I’ll apologise in advance – it might get a bit dull! But honestly, ageing has become a bit of a thing for me, particularly since I turned forty. That was three years ago, or nearly four, if I’m being completely honest with myself.
Of course, I’ve watched The Substance (you know the one), and I’m not even going to go there. It’s not just about our bodies, is it? It’s the whole shebang.
I’m not just aging physically – that’s obvious – I’m aging mentally, and my world is aging around me too. And I’m still not sure I fully understand it. There was a time when I suddenly became an adult, learned to live as an adult, to be responsible, the whole thing. Now I wonder what it really means to be an adult at this stage of life, when you are not a young adult anymore. It’s a kind of existential crisis that I didn’t experienced before.
My body’s definitely changed – there’s no denying it. I’ve tried my best to keep up with the warm-up routines, avoid piling on the pounds, and still manage to look like a woman who’s got it together, but… well, is also a bit older. Not quite mutton dressed as lamb, but you get the idea – maybe a woman in her 40s, or 50s, if we’re being honest. And I’ll admit, it feels a bit awkward at times. You know, being the oldest woman among all the young women and men in their thirties and twenties.
Another thing I’m learning to cope with is watching my parents get older. Suddenly, it’s my turn to look after them. I’ve become the strong one now, but not just because of my parents – I’ve got children of my own, including a teenager, which really adds a whole new layer to the “strength” business.
Time just seems to slip by, doesn’t it?
Then there’s work. Ah, work. When I was younger, I was all about climbing the ladder, making a name for myself. Now, I’m not so fussed about having a boss. In fact, I’d much rather have a flexible, collaborative project with a team – but freelance.
After turning 40, I left the hustle and bustle of the big city where I’d lived my whole life and moved to a much quieter, smaller town – all the way on the other side of the world. Far up north. In this little town, I’ve learned to embrace the calm of my forties. Slow walks to the park. Early nights. More reading. Less work. Or, if I do work, it’s on my terms, with a lot more freedom.
Growing old also means dealing with the negativity that surrounds ageing. You know, people refusing to embrace it. I’m not bothered by the shiny, overly smooth faces plastered with injectable treatments to avoid the inevitable appearance of age. Frankly, I can’t stand those faces – they all look the same, too perfect, too fake. It’s like everyone’s trying to pull off an Instagram filter in real life. It’s odd, isn’t it?
Don’t get me wrong; I really understand those kinds of decisions. I’ve had my own struggles with accepting the face that’s staring back at me in the mirror these days. But I’m getting there. Slowly but surely, I’m learning to be okay with the fact that I look older. In fact, I think I might even feel better about it. I’m quieter, more at peace. And you know what? I think that’s alright.
If you’re finding yourself going through the ageing process, I’d suggest you take a good look around at some of the older folks who are absolutely smashing it. Cool, fabulous older women are everywhere – trust me. Follow their lead, enjoy their lifestyle, and take a deep breath. Growing old just happens. Let it go.
My favourites in social media:
Isabella Rossellini IG @isabellarosellini
Rossy de Palma IG @Rossydpalma
Marcia Lois Riddington Pinterest Marcia Lois Riddington