Sometimes, I just couldn’t find the words to say what I wanted, needed, or felt. They simply didn’t come to mind, and my brain – a bit frustrated – started repeating it all in Spanish. Because I knew what I wanted, what I needed, and what I felt. But my English tongue wouldn’t let me say it. And my way of dealing with it was to start translating word by word in my head, trying to form something resembling a sentence, but it was futile. Speaking a language isn’t just about translating a bunch of words. And it made me feel stressed, even a little silly.
After I moved to the UK, the language barrier limited me time and time again. In this English-speaking world, I couldn’t act like a 40-year-old; I felt as small as my language skills.
Over the years, I’ve learned to piece together the sounds and words in my mind. I’m not sure when exactly, but at some point, my brain just switched to English, and I stopped fighting it. I started to understand people without having to translate everything into Spanish first. Eventually, it became second nature – I understood because I was used to the rhythm and flow of the language.
Now, words appear in my mind as naturally as Spanish does, and I no longer ask myself what words mean. They just come.
But building a new language is no easy feat when you’re an adult. It takes years of effort, and you have to make a conscious switch from your Spanish life to an English one. And that’s tough, because in a way, you lose a part of who you are.
Now I realise that I’m getting older in English, and I can’t help but wonder – what will happen if I don’t go back to my country? Perhaps I won’t grow older in Spanish. It’s a strange thought. Words come, and words leave.
I suppose everyone has their own way of learning. For me, these three sources were really helpful:
The British English Podcast, Charlie Baxter, Spotify.
Rebecca’s English Hub @rebeccas_english_hub, Tik-Tok
Miss Me? Lily Allen and Miquita Oliver podcast, Spotify
